finding a good councilor
On finding a Good Councilor...
A councilor is a person who cheers from the sidelines,while the client helps sort him/herself out
--- Eric Fromm.
Councilors are not popular in india,especially cause there is a lot of misconception on what a councilor is in the first place.in this country atleast,you would never mention that u go to a councilor,as people would look down upon u.
So before i tell you on how i think you can go bout finding a good councilor.i would first like to tell you that going to a councilor does NOT mean that you are mad or dys-functional or in any way more in need of help than anyone else.
there r many kinds of councilors,there is the psycho analyst,the behaviorist,the humanist and quite a few others.some use confrontational techniques,others emphatize,some suggest behaviour modification techniques[BMT]-each of these ways work differently with different people and with different needs.
for example-BMT works with a person who wants to give up smoking or drugs more than some of the other techniques.
but the MOST important characteristic of a councilor by far is his/her ability to listen to u without judging u or feeling sorry for u.
a few points tht i think are vital in choosing a councilor and in the counciling process :
its better to go to a councilor through a referral from a known and trusted doctor.DO NOT look in the yellow pages or ask your local chemist where u can find one.remember-its your peace of mind weare talking about here.
although qualifications are not everything,they still hold a great deal of value.the councilors qualifications and working field tells at the very least how qualified a councilor is.this does not necessarily mean that a councilor who is qualified is the right one for u.
when u first call a councilor,keep the message brief-mentioning your name and telephone no and that you would like to have a appointment with him/her.please do not go into details about your problems.if it is a cricis situation,u could mention that u would like a appointment urgently.usually councilors get back within a day.but if a councilor does not call back giving u a appointment within the week,then please call another councilor.
the first session is a very very important as u and the councilor r just getting to know each other.it is very necessary for u to look at your thoughts through the session and afterwards so as to truly find out whether u were comfortable with the councilor,his methods and the settings.
The setting can sometimes be uncomfortable for u,either physically or psychologically.for example-if the councelors office is too close to your neighbourhood,or if the patient coming in next can see u as u leave or if u feel that the coun ciling room is not soundproof enough.all these can play on your mind when u go to the councilor.so please take them into account as well.
all counciling sessions are necessarily CONFIDENTIAL.
the first session is also very important because in this session the councilor gets to begin to know what your problems/issues are.if you find that u are not comfortable revealing yourself to the councilor,it would mean that you do not trust the councilor and that the session and perhaps the whole process with this particular councilor would be a waste. in my own case i went to a councilor who listened to my problems and was most probably feeling as overwhelmed as i was feeling.i constantly felt that in one of the sessions she was going to hug me.now dont get me wrong,i like a hug as much as the next person,but the hug was not going to help me face my problems any better.
you are going to be bringing your problems to the counciling room and make yourself vuluranable in front of the councilor,so u being as comfortable,both physically as well as mentally is very very important for the process to begin and move forward.the very process of revealing is a process of healing,so the utmost care has to be taken.
lastly if u find that the councilor is talking more than u r,and also interrupts u frequently; then be sure that the counciling porcess is not going smoothly.
another thing that should go without saying,but unfortunately needs to be stated anyhow is that by and large the councilor and the client do not have or make any physical contact.sexual contact is a BIG BIG NO.so please do not even consider going into that area.it has nothing to do with counciling(take my word for it{Feuid was right in thinking that lots of things are connected to sex...even councelors and counciling-this is just for ur reading)
choosing a good councilor like choosing a good Doctor is incredibly important because choose the wrong doctor puts your life at risk at the worst and at the very least,you continue with whatever problem you have.
counciling is not a miracle drug which the councilor possesses.the councilor is more a person who by listening carefully helps you,the client,sort out the jumbled-up-ness of your thinking and emotions.
for this to begin,you have to find a councilor whom you can trust(and if u have trust issues...than dont trust yourself in not trusting the councilor,,,hehehe.also do tell the councilor that u have trust issues and do not trust him/her), so as to be frank about your situation.
some councilors are quick to give you advice on what to do(trust me on tht one,i have met a few),and in this they are no different from friends and family members.
so now that u have a few pointers on how to find a good councilor.i wish u the very best in finding a good councilor and in your journey of finding yourself.
posted by kunalmithril @ 12:54 AM
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